Week 1 - Day 7 - 08-22-15

"You  will never find time for anything.  If you want time, you must make it." - Charles Buxton, American Writer - as quoted by Jorge Cruise in his book 8 Minutes in the Morning.

Today is a NO EXERCISE day (except for my PT!).  Woohoo!  Who knew!

He suggests a Power Collage! - some way to capture the feelings of photos of special occasions or situations!  He suggests doing this on a weekly basis! using photos of people who inspire us and putting them on our collage board.

He also suggests getting some fresh air, going for a power walk, and motivating ourselves for the next week!

Additionally he posts an "I did it" from someone who challenged, conquered and continues to conquer.

In the diet section - he discusses the "something sweet"  - not candy (I don't want to discuss candy, there is a big pan of reason for this - but I don't want to discuss it!) - but for frozen grapes!  Oh yum!  (10 of them = about 15 calories and you have to eat 12 grapes to check off the box for fruit on the card!)

Uh oh!  Here it is - WEEK 1 UPDATE!!!!  (I'm in trouble now!)

1. What is my current weight - also write down my original weight (I will on my checklists)
2. How well have I done this week?  Ummm - not that great!  I need to work a LOT more on this to make me proud of my efforts!  However exercise - very good!
3. What could I be doing better, improving?  Portion control.  Substitution for the "hungries" later in the evening. food item control - ummm - this may mean different shopping!  Mostly being resistive - STRONGLY resistive.

My choices re this are:

• Ignore the diet for another week (with the idea that when I DO decide to do the diet part - I go to week 1 again)
• Continue to focus on diet and do the best I can - with the idea that it will eventually "fall into place"
• Focus STRONGLY on diet and literally force myself to adhere

Did I mention that I am also ODD? (Well, odd as well - but oppositional defiant disorder is what I mean!)  Choice 3 may not work for me!  Choice 2 - seeing each new day as a new starting point and ignoring the negatives from the old may be the best bet.  Seeing what I NEED to do and why - and then choosing to adhere or not throughout the day, evaluating - but not blaming at the end of the day.

4.What is my game plan for Week 2? Game plan - plan menues that adhere to diet, snacks that work well with diet and way I develop the "hungries".  No blame.  Continuing to Exercise.  Continuing to mark off exercises as well as to mark off food choices.  Trying.  Not viewing diet as end all. Finding non-food substitutes or causes or reasons or things to do when boredom sets in.

Week 1 - Day 6 - Oops! - 08-22-15

SOMEHow I thought I had already done the log for the 6th day.  No!  I hadn't (obviously!)  - so I'm doing it now!

Yesterday I had physical therapy on my legs - which does NOT mean massage - but DOES mean new exercises! (Except these weren't - but were some I have done in the past - but which I will - and AM including daily in the future = at least until the PT says I don't need to anymore - which is NOT likely!)

Anyway - on to Jorge Cruise's book..........

He asks how would it be if I could find an extra 3 to 4 hours each week!  LOL - let me count the ways I could use that time.  (Could being the operative word here - in reality,I would probably take a nap!)  He asks how I could use that time to accelerate my success.  (Ummmmmmmmm - why do I feel this may involve my sleep?)  Then he asks how much sooner I could achieve my goal!

He then goes on to describe and discuss the "LOSER ZONE" - which is NOT a good thing and involves doing things that do NOT significantly improve our lives.  Yeah!  I can understand that!  And have quite a few of those - starting with computer time (as evidenced by when my computer has to be re-formatted and I delay on that!!!!  AMAZING what I can get done!)

He describes TV.  I don't do TV - and prefer not to!  I DO however watch videos - usually learning things, like Origins, Blue planet, etc. and sometimes videos like Road to Avonlea or The American President, etc.  Nothing horrifying or too scary - because then I dream of the movie - no thank you to that!!!

Back to Loser Zone activity - how many hours per day do I spend.  Uh oh!  I'm in TROUBBBBLE!!!!  If the number is greater than 6 to 8 hours per day, he suggests that we could find some time better spent on creating our best body ever (or on doing something to improve ourselves, or the world we live in - whatever!).

Told you I was in trouble!  Both from the computer AND from reading!  And not saying just how many hours I spend - just that it's a bunch - especially since I messed up my knee and can't babysit (picking up Evan can be a danger for him if I fall on him!)

OK - to turn things around a bit.... SOME of my time online and SOME of my reading time is quite beneficial.  So to divide things up.....

• ONLINE time
• Time spent just vegging..................too entirely much! not saying how many hours!
• time spent on group and doing chores/homework - for now - probably 4-6 hours (sort of a blackmail thing - we do chores or homework for a specific period of time then come back to the group and report that and state what next chore/learning thing we will do. Sort of being accountable for that time spent.
• BOOKS read
• Fun books - like Andre Norton series - more than I should, I tend to delay HAVE TO chores for this!  I do this every night before I go to sleep - and have been known to either suddenly realize it is midnight and then some - or have been known to fall asleep with book in hand!
• Study books - LOTS of books - WAY behind on my studies - but I'm getting there - AND I'm learning (I hope!) all the way!  Right now I can spend more time doing this again because I'm not babysitting at present,  This happens when I'm  more fully awake (hopefully!)
• PLANNING
• LOL - this sounds like it could be just a little thing - but I can easily extend my planning time into highly detailed accounts of minute by minute - PARTICULARLY when I DON'T want to do something (procrastination!) or when I start in on the "what if's..." kind of thing where something I wish would happen (associated with and may contribute to negative emotions!  I try to NOT do this!)

OK - how much total time would I have if I excluded ALL of the above (both the good and not so great stuff)?  Oh yeah!  I would have a tremendous amount of time!  BUT how much time would I have if I excluded only a portion of the vegging time or fun book time or limited myself to ONLY a specific amount of time for planning?  Yup - I would definitely have anywhere from 1.5 to 7 hours a DAY or 10.5 to 35 hours a WEEK!  Yup - more than enough time to do whatever.  

So I guess the key here has to do with WANTING - How much time do I actually want to spend ONLINE - ummm - not that much.  And I can feel the ugly excuses already starting in - I'm so weak (NOT!), I don't have time (NOT - that's what this is about!) and on and on!  Maybe limit veggie time ONLINE from half hour to an hour a day (NOT counting my blog - YET!) - which is email and FB.  That's it!  With FB that means games and puzzles!

How much time do I want to spend READING - the FUN books?  Umm - This one I probably am going to keep as is - BUT will limit the fun stuff to ONLY before bed!  During the day - no!

PLANNING time - ok - I've already re-set my goal time to weekly - and think I will keep it that way!  The setting to a daily list so far is NOT working.  I need to figure out WHY - then discard that idea or keep it and keep it up!  Menues - ummm - those are fine - unless I suddenly realize I overspent and need to change everything!  My menues are still balanced et al - but may be a bit more wierd than usual!  However - planning per se - per studies, per week activities - OK - per planning life out - ummm - fine to choose goals to strive for - but NOT FINE if I'm using that to avoid doing something else!  (And I'm quite good at that!)  Maybe to limit that time to an hour a week and no more than 30 minutes per day.

so - hopefully I've located Exercise time here - and lots of time to do other things - like volunteering, etc.
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EXERCISE for Friday was Inner-thigh leg raise and Outer Thigh Doggie.  The Inner thigh Leg raise is a variation of the exercises I did with the stretch bands (my left leg is markedly weaker than the right - oh thank you sciatica! and knee popping out of joint! I'm so thrilled!)  The doggie one is identical to the other exercise I'm supposed to do from PT!
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Um this one I have a BIG problem with!  Jorge suggests eating pizza without cheese!  Yes, I CAN do it - and have done so - BUT I prefer cheese - and unfortunately cheese is a major part of my weekly diet!  I grew up that way!  I gained fat that way! I raised my kids that way (mostly because we had only 1-2 meat meals a week and cheese was the only other protein I knew!) My parents developed high chloresterol that way! So what if after eating a lot of it I feel bloated and sleepy!

OK - I don't know about doing WITHOUT cheese - but I CAN cut down the AMOUNT of cheese I consume!  It will be an effort!  A MAJOR effort!  But I can do it!  I can also make sure I eat more of alternative proteins - ie, beans, eggs, certain grains, ground nuts

Week 1, Day 5 - I may get there yet!

Quote for today: "Vision: the art of seeing things invisible." - Jonathon Swift, Irish poet and satirist.

That's the quote for today in the 8 Minutes in the Morning book by Jorge Cruise.

He discusses the ultimate environment as a vision or dream and compares this to the film Forrest Gump (one of my most favorite movies!) and how Forrest was able to make his dreams or visions come true by believing in himself and empowering his beliefs in such a way that he was able to overcome his challenges.  Jorge calls this Result Driven Questions, questions that we voice - internally or externally, and which we become focused on positive things, rather than on things that make us depressed or unmotivated.

Result driven questions (and I'm photocopying them and putting them in several places - refrigerator, on my computer, in front of my sewing machine, on my study wall, over the piano, in the car! and would love to put them on my mirror in the bathroom - but the steam kills the tape!

1. What joy will I feel when I attain my ultimate body?
2. How incredible will my life become when I am leaner?
3. What extraordinary things will people say to me when I am leaner?
4. How will I see my body transform with the healthful choices I make?
5. What can I do today so that my weight loss plans run smoothly?
6. How can I continue to create a weight loss support network?

Now - comment first - I do NOT like the focus on ultimate body joy as if weight loss or thinness equals Nirvana or an actual goal.  Instead I think of thinness as something that is on the way to an actual goal - and may be way far down the list.  That is, my eventual plans to reach 145 pounds according to Jorge may be worthy of celebration.  I don't like that!  To me, the 145 pounds is only the figure I chose because I feel GOOD at that particular weight, because I can run up and down stairs without sounding like a steam engine, because my knees are less likely to pop out of joint, because my blood pressure normalizes and hopefully I will be able to finally give up my bp medicine (I'm not banking on that, though - my bp is STRESS labile!), because all my clothing patterns happen to be in the size I was when I did weigh that amount and I'm cheap!  THOSE are the things I want to focus on - NOT the weight itself!

My ultimate body - yup - I like the idea of not seeing my gut hang over the belt to my jeans and of being able to actually see my feet!  Go me!  I like even more being active and participating more fully in things I like (ie, folk dancing, ballet, playing soccer, going for long hikes!).

How incredible my life will be?  Well, not really incredible at all - but simply back to the way I prefer to live - from gardening, homesteading, to folk dancing and all.

What extraodinary things will people say?  Umm - about me - nah!  I don't really give a hoot about that!  Rather I would love others to say - I want to do that - teach or help me on the way.  That I do like!  (Yup - I love teaching others!)  Things I do NOT want to hear are people commenting about my weight, my way of life, my choices for what I want to do!)

How will I see my body transform?  By becoming more active, more participatory in activities - both fun and otherwise.  By setting mini goals along the way - hikes, dancing, etc. - things that are fun to do and that I feel confident about doing along the way.

What can I do today?  Oh yeah!  By exercising this AM - and by watching my diet more closely - a LOT more closely, by striving to accomplish a variety of non-food/exercise goals and completing them or at the least contributing major effort toward those goals.

How can I continue to create a weight loss support network?  Urgh!  I could by telling my famil,y and friends - however I think I need to lose the weight first and either let family and friends NOTICE and they say something - or I might say something (drop a HINT - a STRONG hint) after I have reached at least one goal.
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Today's exercises include: Standing Heel Raise (12 each set) for the calves, Kickup (12 each set) for the butt.  4 sets each.
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The "Little Calories" - the small "tastes", freebies at the store and so on!  That's the diet portion of today's efforts.  Re freebies at the store I can either go at a time that the freebies are NOT offered or I can count them towards the boxes on the eating cards!  Re tastes - uhmmmmm - I can either NOT taste foods (which is fine by me) until I serve them - or count them towards the boxes on the eating cards!

My problem STILL is AMOUNTS - and that late at night "snack attack" that becomes a binge - of homemade pudding or ice cream!  Yuck!

Day 3 - some thoughts - and Day 4!

I forgot to re-post day 3 - which I did yesterday!  At any rate here's the addy: http://momslifeupsidedown.blogspot.com/2015/08/day-3-passion-reasons-to-lose-weight.html
At any rate - Day 3 exercises - Lying Kickback (Triceps) and Standing Curl (Biceps) were repeated yesterday!
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I have an additional reason for losing weight AND exercising.  As I told you earlier (Was it only Sunday?) I used to work in a nursing home as an aide - 3 tours of duty - one when I was raising Wendy while she was a baby, and the second when she was a teenager (and she also worked there as well).  The 3rd tour for working in a nursing home was when my son was growing up and was about 10 (he also worked there several years later as a volunteer worker) but at that time I worked as a social worker.  A lot of the folks there were crippled by arthritis and other problems and were frequently in pain at least until medicated.  I don't want to be in that situation - neither having the pain and being crippled by arthritis, sciatica, inactivity through the years, nor by living in a nursing home (you can't have cats there - nor can you stroll into the kitchen and make a grilled cheese at 10 PM! Plus a whole bunch of other stuff!  PLUS it would be truly hard to quilt there).  If I ever have to, well, then I'll cross that bridge then.  Otherwise, I definitely plan on living healthy, AND exercising DAILY!  And yes, I have that awful "gotta do it right" feeling - but I suspect that ANY activity will be activity well spent - as long as I don't become plumb foolish about it!
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Day 4
All that was yesterday!  Today has a message: "When you always do your best, you take action.  Doing your best is taking action because you love it, not because you're expecting a reward."  Good thought!

Today I'm supposed to See it and make it real!
VISUALIZATION exercise..........
1. NOW - posture is lousy - all slumped over, belly sagging, we won't even discuss hips or butt.  I'm wearing jeans and a tee.
WHAT I WANT TO SEE - body standing erect, gut sucked in, shoulders back, head held high, I'm standing TALL! and it's obvious that I'm breathing much better too!  And I like that feeling!
2. Movement - what I want to see - running - maybe playing soccer!, dancing - maybe even a little ballet, walking - and hiking in the hills, laughter shows on my face and in my attitude.  That's where I want to be!
3. Now - my arms and legs ARE more toned - a little sore - but toned - and I like that!

This is something I need to do daily (Visualization exercises).

Today's exercises - warm up for a minute, Hamstring Leg lift (hamstrings) - sets of 12, Squats (Quadriceps) - sets of 12 again.  4 repeats of sets.

The diet portion of the day - discusses Olive oil - which is something I use!  In fact, it's almost the ONLY oil I do use! and the ONLY one that agrees with my body!  Re the "Light" olive oil - that refers to TASTE - NOT calories - and I like the taste of olive oil so the regular taste is just fine with me!  The only thing I do NOT do with olive oil - I don't like to use it as a spread on biscuits or toast or to taste it directly - my mind just won't let me do that.

Day 2 of the Repeated Week 1

Is it my imagination or are the exercises HARDER the second time around?  Same exercise, done the same way, fortunately NOT one involving legs and feet - just involves arms and weights, curl ups.  Yet the curl ups just about got me!

I had a HORRIBLE dream last night - however, it may spur me on to actually getting a lot more exercise done and losing weight.  I dreamed that I had to go to a nursing home.  I used to work in a nursing home - as did my sister and each of my kids.  I dreamed that I could no longer walk and was all crippled up with pain (sciatica and my cats packed tightly around me probably didn't help!).  At any rate, when I woke up, I vowed right then and there that no matter what, I'm LOSING this weight (so I don't have so much weight heavy on my joints) and exercising and that I WILL walk normally without a problem.  Sometimes I get stubborn like that!  Right now I'm doing the 8 minutes in the Morning, but somewhere along the line I would like to do MORE!  More cardio, more yoga as well - and I think that will help a lot!  Right now, though, I am seriously RESENTING not only my physical challenges, but also resenting the time that exercise takes.  And it is probably true that I will NOT compete in a 5 K race - at least not at this time.  My knees would have to be permanently stable for that to occur - and, considering I was in my 30's when my knees first went out, that's not terribly likely!  Still though - HIKING which I dearly love, is a possibility - and maybe that's where I should aim!  For right now, however, being able to do the exercises is where I'm at!

Day 8 - Whoops! No! It's Week 1 all over again! With a change!

Yup - you didn't miss anything - and I'm debating whether or not to start Week 1 all over again!  I'm seriously thinking about it!  As for what happened to Week 1 - uhmmm - personal difficulties, definite unhappiness soothed by (this is NOT good!) ice cream and graham crackers and a 2 liter bottle of birch beer (non-alcoholic type).  DEFINITELY not a good time was had by all!

So - on THAT note - I'm starting again! BUT this time - some differences - due to finances - uhm - I won't be doing the 8 Minutes in the Morning DIET - But will be doing a variation of the Spark Diet instead.  Spark Diet does have a pre-printed diet - BUT you can substitute like crazy (I qualify) and if wished, you can plug in all kinds of stuff to find the calories and adjust accordingly.  All in all it is an extremely good diet with super amounts of leeway.  My ONLY argument with it is that the online program takes FOREVER to record the amounts, etc. BUT it does show all the vitamins, minerals, calories, etc. consumed over a day - and makes suggestions for diet improvement, as well as being printable - WITH a grocery list (for the original diet), has a gazillion recipes (taste tested).  It is just the WAIT factor for everything to record!  Ugh!  Strangely enough, however, I don't have complaints against anything that I find in a book or on a printed paper!  Just something where I can change the diet plan!  LOL

I'm keeping the Week 1 responses however - and maybe adding to those!   Below I've re-copied my Week 1 Day 1 responses to the questionnaire.  And yes, I'll be checking in to Spark Coach!

• I know goals are important - BUT every exercise/diet program I've ever joined in focuses on what do I want my body to look like - do I want sculpted lines, etc. blah blah blah!
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• Ugh!  I just want my body to not droop where it used to be perky, not sag where it used to be essentially almost flat, not have knees that resemble yo-yo's in regard to staying in place, not have pain in my legs, lower back.  Sigh!  And worst part, I can't even say I want my body to be 20 years old again!  Especially since my legs have hurt like this since I was a little girl.  (My mom used to call them "growing pains".  Sorry, but I HOPE I've stopped growing years ago!)  The droopiness - well, that could be an aging sign - more probably it is a sign of muscle tissue that has just decided that droopiness is "where it's at!" and, yes, I CAN correct for SOME of it - but considering the lines in the face - a body with perky attributes - and a face that resembles a map of New York City - it's jarring, I tell you!  Truly jarring!
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• One of my goals is to be able to run upstairs without sounding like a steam engine.  I live on the first floor.  Plus WHY would I want to run upstairs?  Is there any reason on this Earth or off of it to do so?  Has a new law been passed that now requires citizens to sprint lightly up a flight or two of stairs, all while breathing normally?  Hah!
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• Losing some of the sag in my stomach means I can see my feet.  And, yes, this can be a good thing!  At least now I can see if indeed my socks and/or shoes are a matching color.  Gone are the days when I would wear tennis shoes from 2 different sets.  TG!  but now that I can see my feet - I can also see where my feet walk.  That means I can also see the floor - and therein lies the problem.  Now I can see the cat fuzz that escaped the vacuum cleaner and the crumbs from the graham cracker ice cream sandwich I sneaked for lunch. Of course, I can still at the same time see where the chocolate ice cream (from the ice cream sandwich) dripped onto my tummy roll.  Of them all - maybe seeing the chocolate ice cream drip is the most important - especially if I need to go somewhere.  The apartment I can always close the door.
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• Still and all, I do want to - and will continue to exercise.
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• Dehydration is another topic for Day 1, Week 1.  As a rule this doesn't bother me too much because I drink anywhere from 64 - 96 ounces water daily.  I used to drink more - but got myself into deep kimchee when my potassium level dropped way down as a result.  Now I try to keep it between the 64 and 96 ounces.
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• (More may be added later)

Day 4 - Make It Real!

This morning I'm trying to do a Visualization Exercise!  Not of the body I have - but of the body I want to have!  What do I see?

First of all - I'm not all slumped over - but stand tall!  My clothes are back to the size 14s I wore when I went to college - and that includes the bottom half of me! (I won't mention what size the bottom half of me is at present!  The top is a size 16 - Women's - and I want it a size 16 REGULAR! To say I'm currently pear shaped - oh yeah!  I'm there!)

While I visualize myself - I can make that "me" run around - jump, dance, and all those nice coordinated lighter weight things I would like to do (notice - I said COORDINATED!).

I can see the "tone" of my arms and legs - so nice to not have arms with a big flabby thing hanging down instead of muscle!  I don't really want sculpted muscles - just TONE with a capitol - and no gelatin jelly dance! Yup!  That's what I want!

Today's exercises are for the hamstrings and quadriceps!  which should be interesting - especially since my quads don't want to cooperate terribly well!  Well - no time like the present to "encourage" cooperation - think "Tone" with a capitol T!
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The Dietary part discussed healthy oils - ie, most specifically olive oil - which actually is the ONLY oil I use - and actually the only kind I CAN use without side effects developing along the way!  For some reason my body refuses to recognize butter, marg, any other oil as real food and rejects it!  Olive oil, however, is something I CAN use and, fortunately, I like it - a lot!

As to the KIND of olive oil - I personally do better when it is either virgin olive oil or even plain olive oil.  I burn the daylights out of the extra virgin olive oil - EVERY TIME I try to use it!  I do like the taste however!

Day 3 - Passion Reasons to lose weight

Today I'm supposed to write down the 3 strongest reasons to lose weight as well as  creating a Power List.

What ARE the most important things in my life?  What are my Power Reasons?

1. My family certainly - my son, my daughter, their spouses, my grandson Evan.  Also the kids who came and stayed a while, whether officially or not - Kelly, Tray, Royal, Dawn, Haman, Sean, Dean, Josie, Jonathon and most certainly Sammi.
2. My little furry friends - my cats, the dogs who shared my life over the years, the gerbils, hamsters and Alfie - the guinea pig who thought she was a cat!
3. Being able to garden, see beauty in nature, see, appreciate and give thanks for God's gifts to the world.
4. Adding a 4th MAJOR reason here - my religious beliefs about God, religious observances.

To each point on my list, now, I add how my losing weight will affect this - what I will gain by losing those pounds and inches.

1. Family - born, fostered - both official and unofficial, guardianship.
1. Losing weight and exercising regularly means I will be around longer to enjoy my family.
2. I'll be in good health so that my being around won't be a burden to my family.
2. Furry friends
1. Losing weight means I will be around longer to care about and for them, that they will continue to survive and survive well.
2. Being around them longer means that my elderly kitties and critters can live out their lives instead of being put down because they are elderly.
3. Garden and enjoying beauty of the world
1. Losing weight and exercising regularly means that I will continue to raise a garden and not be a burden to society, my family, that I will not spend major $ in groceries or shops to guarantee my continued existence but can instead share with others
2. Exercising regularly means I can interact with nature, can enjoy hikes in the countryside or around town, can garden and enjoy God's works on a daily basis.
4. I'm not sure what losing weight and exercising regularly will do as regards religious observances and about giving thanks, except that I will be around longer to do so.  
1. Exercising regularly DOES mean however, that when called to read Torah, that I can do that and that is such a joy!
2. Exercising regularly DOES mean that when given the chance to dance with the Torah on Simhat Torah - that I can, and that I can join in the processional around the synagogue on Sukkot - that I can participate more fully and with the joy I feel.

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The 8 minutes book today mentioned that fruit juices, while tasting great and all, are loaded with calories.  They suggested that I dilute the fruit juice with sparkling water and enjoy it that way.  Already I dilute it by half.  The idea is that over time I can dilute it more and more until there is only a hint of the fruit juice there.  No, - I don't think I want to do that - sort of like diluting Nature's goodness until all that's left is the diluted part.  Nope!  Half and half - that I can live with - and that's where I'll stay!

Interesting thing I found out is that I can also dilute other things with sparkling water as well - wine (I have maybe 4 glasses a year - on Passover), tomato juice, and soda.  I can do without the soda quite well!  tomato juice - or even vegetable juice - that's a treat!  I'm going to TRY that - but think I will probably stay with the real McCoy!  We'll see!

Day 2's Meanderings

This morning's assignment is to figure out how I feel about what inactivity and overeating have cost me.  I'm supposed to keep Ebenezer Scrooge in mind - and how he changed from a miserly selfish person to a generous and giving person - overnight.  Personally I always figured that unless he was given a LOT of positive reinforcement by others, his reformation may not have been lasting.  He may have wanted it to be - but chances are it wasn't.  UNLESS he was given a LOT of positives by others along the way - and for a LONG time!!!

Hmmmm!  Several thoughts....  First of all - what kinds of problems/challenges have I encountered because of my overeating and inactivity?  Well, this knee problem for one.  That is to say - chances are I would have messed up my knee regardless of what weight/inactivity was going on.  I mean - when MOST people turn completely around, they move their feet.  When this first happened - I didn't!  Instead I kept my feet solidly planted in one place facing one direction - and turned 180 degrees around - FAST!  Yup!  Knee joints ARE NOT supposed to have that happen!  Worst thing was - I was showing someone else what stupid thing I had done - and did it again.  Same thing!  Same knee!  And then, I decided that was NOT a good thing to do on that knee - so I showed someone else how I did this - on the OTHER KNEE!

And no, STUPIDITY does not run in my family!  I seem to have cornered the market on that!

I wish I could say that was the end of it.  Nyet!  Over the years I have revisited STUPIDITY INC. - and played Soccer - dribbling the ball down the field - at least until the knee popped out and I did a face plant!  Dancing frantically - and not well - and doing a face plant! (I must like face plants!) and running the risk while hiking long distances - without an ace bandage on hand!

So - while I have an interesting knee challenge - it has been certainly contributed to by my being x number of pounds overweight!

There are a variety of other physical challenges that most certainly have been complicated by my being overweight, and being overweight means that I had to buy clothes to cover the body.  I don't know that I've ever lost or not gained a job because of my weight - but I do know of others who have.  Same goes for friends - and while I've had a few people make unfortunate remarks about my weight - most people haven't.  Which is probably a good thing since I have a real 'thing' about people who respond negatively to others who may be a different weight, race, religion, political belief - or whatever - ie, those who respond negatively to anyone who isn't them!

So - what pain has being unfit caused me - has been primarily physical or financial.  Certainly NOT social since I don't want to waste my time on those idiots for whom that would be a concern!
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The second part of the exercise has to do with "eating because the food is there".  In other words, if the food is NOT there - the eating won't happen!  This is interesting - because it smacks of what my family calls the "clean plate club" - and to which every member of my family belongs!  Part of that stems from my parents having gone through the Depression of the 30's - and food was something you did NOT waste!  In part because there may not be enough food later!

Has that ever happened to me personally?  Yup!  I called it the 2 week 20 pound loss diet for years! When my dd was little, things were tough - and there was just enough food (leftovers from the day before turned into soup) to feed one - my daughter.  For me? Well, I continued to look for a job and visited every restaurant along the way (you could get a cup of hot water and the tomato catsup packages were on the table.  Sometimes there was cream and sugar on the tables too!)  YOu can make an almost decent soup with the catsup and hot water!  And the cream, sugar and water were almost a white hot chocolate!

I had wished that neither of my kids would ever have to experience the 20 pound weight loss diet - but my daughter did and then years later, my son did.  As a result - both joined the Clean plate club!

That being said - how to counteract that?  When my dinner is cooked - IF I AM SMART (I'm not always!) I will subdivide my dinner into pre-measured portions - and freeze each portion of food - PRIOR to my serving it at the table!  This includes vegetables, fruits, main dishes.  That way when I want the same item(s) again for some other dinner - I grab the frozen cubes or rounds of whatever, thaw and nuke them - and dinner is ready!

I also like to take a PART of my meal - and designate that as a snack - since snacks can all to easily become a food binge for me!

And I TRY to keep things like ice cream, graham crackers OUT OF THE HOUSE!

It doesn't always work that way - and sometimes I rebel and refuse to do any of that - and invariably gain weight all over again!

My BIGGEST problem however has been exercise - my metabolism has slowed down - and approaches a minimum.  AND while exercise burns calories, NO exercise doesn't burn very many calories at all and can really add on the weight!

Thoughts on Day One of 8 Minutes in the Morning....

I know goals are important - BUT every exercise/diet program I've ever joined in focuses on what do I want my body to look like - do I want sculpted lines, etc. blah blah blah!

Ugh!  I just want my body to not droop where it used to be perky, not sag where it used to be essentially almost flat, not have knees that resemble yo-yo's in regard to staying in place, not have pain in my legs, lower back.  Sigh!  And worst part, I can't even say I want my body to be 20 years old again!  Especially since my legs have hurt like this since I was a little girl.  (My mom used to call them "growing pains".  Sorry, but I HOPE I've stopped growing years ago!)  The droopiness - well, that could be an aging sign - more probably it is a sign of muscle tissue that has just decided that droopiness is "where it's at!" and, yes, I CAN correct for SOME of it - but considering the lines in the face - a body with perky attributes - and a face that resembles a map of New York City - it's jarring, I tell you!  Truly jarring!

One of my goals is to be able to run upstairs without sounding like a steam engine.  I live on the first floor.  Plus WHY would I want to run upstairs?  Is there any reason on this Earth or off of it to do so?  Has a new law been passed that now requires citizens to sprint lightly up a flight or two of stairs, all while breathing normally?  Hah!

Losing some of the sag in my stomach means I can see my feet.  And, yes, this can be a good thing!  At least now I can see if indeed my socks and/or shoes are a matching color.  Gone are the days when I would wear tennis shoes from 2 different sets.  TG!  but now that I can see my feet - I can also see where my feet walk.  That means I can also see the floor - and therein lies the problem.  Now I can see the cat fuzz that escaped the vacuum cleaner and the crumbs from the graham cracker ice cream sandwich I sneaked for lunch. Of course, I can still at the same time see where the chocolate ice cream (from the ice cream sandwich) dripped onto my tummy roll.  Of them all - maybe seeing the chocolate ice cream drip is the most important - especially if I need to go somewhere.  The apartment I can always close the door.

Still and all, I do want to - and will continue to exercise.
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Dehydration is another topic for Day 1, Week 1.  As a rule this doesn't bother me too much because I drink anywhere from 64 - 96 ounces water daily.  I used to drink more - but got myself into deep kimchee when my potassium level dropped way down as a result.  Now I try to keep it between the 64 and 96 ounces.